Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
