There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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