i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
