If i come over, it means nothing
Screwed.edu
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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