yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
