ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize