I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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