I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
