she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
