i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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