I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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