that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
