I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have fence marks all over my body
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
