i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
