Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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