you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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