She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
