let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
