saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
