You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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