Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
