Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
A+ Viking dick
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
