Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
