Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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