I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
