I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
