I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize