I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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