My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
