the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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