i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
