Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.

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(914): View more from New York

i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same

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(816): View more from Missouri

Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful

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(251): View more from Alabama

Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.

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(425): View more from Washington

If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

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(810): View more from Michigan

There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?

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