It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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