It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
