careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
