I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish you could order shots online.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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