Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
