I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
