At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
