So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize