there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
