Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I think my vagina is haunted
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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