i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
