Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
