She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
