im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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