I want to stick my p in your. b.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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