tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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