Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
