You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
