She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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