Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
