i permit you to call me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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