If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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