i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
