is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
