brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
