i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
