Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
