And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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