Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize