I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
