And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
