Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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