i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
