Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
