If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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