My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
