She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
